Week 22 .
Writing, sound & film experimenting & women's conference
Writing & sound editing
This week I pieced together a bunch of scrap notes of wee thoughts and ideas I have had over this semester to write 2 new pieces of writing and turn them into sound pieces.
"My Mind Is Like A House"
The first piece, "My Mind Is Like A House" was a way to bring my original idea of creating a dolls house to represent my mind to life through the use of story telling. During pandemic depression as well as referring back to my past battles with my mental health, I have realised that I have found a sort of way to categorize my headspace as if my mind is a structural form. The writing/sound piece is split into 3 sections, 3 representations of my mind. When I am feeling positive, happy or inspired, my mind feels like a sparkling clean home, no clutter, just a place that is breathable, tranquil and free. When I'm feeling stressed, anxious or angry, my mind feels like a prison, the walls are closing in, the noise of my thoughts are unbearable, I cant find a way to escape. And sometimes when I feel like I cant get any lower, my mind feels like a old, crumbling, shell of a structure, the wind whistles through, as if there is nothing left. The background noise in the first section is bright, ethereal and immersive. The background noise in the second section is intense, my voice overlaps and the sounds of other thoughts begin to emerge, emphasizing disorientation and desperation. And in the third section, there is the sound of nothingness, only a sink dripping slowly, as if each drip is counting down to the end.
Read 'My Mind Is Like A House' here: https://kirstenfarquhar.wixsite.com/kirstenfarquhar/my-mind-is-like-a-house
Listen to 'My Mind Is Like A House' here: https://kirstenfarquhar.wixsite.com/kirstenfarquhar/sound
'Head In The Clouds'
The second piece, 'Head In The Clouds' is like the baby of 'My Mind Is Like A House.' HITC explores my battles with lack of concentration and feeling as though I am upsetting my friends over not being completely there in conversations. I'm so easily distracted by things, I can look like I am giving my full undivided attention when most of the time I'm zoned out in my own wee world.
Whilst writing and recording this sound piece, I remembered a episode of some weird kids TV show that I used to love as a kid called Grisly Tales For Gruesome Kids. I vividly remember this one episode where the kid is so clueless and has no care in the world that his head gets chopped off, resulting in his decapitated head being put in a box stuffed with cotton, so that his head will remain in the clouds forever. Honestly, I remember feeling actual traumatised after seeing that as a kid, and looking back now as an adult, I can recognise now that I was probably afraid that would happen to me as I must've found that character relatable. In my adult life and noticing these things about myself, I do wonder if I might have undiagnosed ADHD or some sort of similar disorder. I think I really need to speak to a professional about it as I think it will give me some closure.
That wee TV show gave me an idea for a simple wee concept for a film to accompany my sound piece. I went to Zenova fabrics and bought a 1x1 metre of bright green fabric to create a green screen and I filmed myself standing in front of it. Creating this film felt performative, I stood in front of my camera and stared directly at it, making me dissociate. Watching the footage back, I was intrigued by how normal I look, despite being zoned out and not paying attention. On the green screen I included a time lapse I had taken of the sky, which I layered multiple times on top of each other, as well as layering the clouds film over the top of me too to make it appear as if I am actually in the clouds.
I also attempted a wee bit of concrete poetry with the presentation of the HITC poem to make the layout of each line resemble clouds.
Read 'Head In The Clouds' here: https://kirstenfarquhar.wixsite.com/kirstenfarquhar/head-in-the-clouds
Watch 'Head In The Clouds' below:
I realised that throughout this process and time spent creating this body of work, I have allowed myself to both visualise and communicate my thoughts to a significant extent, and finally understand myself to a greater level.
I logged on to attend the In Gear Women's Conference. It was such a interesting and empowering event, and it was great to see many of our year group taking part. I was educated on a variety of different aspects of women's issues, from LGBTQI+, pregnancy, women's representation in art & film, gender imbalance, and woman from other cultures.